February 6, 2025
Prom
Imagine you're a reddish marsupial, a bandicoot named Crash to be exact, walking through 25 levels, collecting crystals, gems and relics to save the world from the evil scientist named Neo Cortex. You used to have a girlfriend named Tawna but she eventually got replaced by your sister. Oh well.
Getting PlayStation One (Not PSX, I don't get why would you American folks call it PSX when the latest PS is PS V). Anyway, the thing is that videogames played a large role in my life. When I started this blog last year, I wanted to break all the habits and end the story with a happy ending. I really wanted to quit playing videogames because, while I have very fond memories of them, I think I have put all my skill points into games and now I have to grind real hard to get the XP for more skill points. Simply put, I am socially awkward, have friends who just want to drink or smoke weed while I don't, have no job, no money, living with my parents and the last time I've been on a date was three months ago.
But where exactly am I going with this, I hear you ask. Well, each time you finish a game, you go back to the title screen and start all over again, saving the world again and again. Sometimes I wonder if Crash knows about all this, being trapped in an endless loop of reincarnation. I have always believed in reincarnation, so maybe there is a chance to relive childhood, to go through high school and college yet again. But I have not reached the end of the game yet. The only thing I might have successfully accomplished is to stop drinking. And few days ago I've been on a prom and officially got my degree. Essentially I met with some old friends from college and had a good time. My grandma gave me a bouquet of flowers, which I explicitly said I do not want. Nonetheless, I eventually gave it to my classmate who was the only girl to not have received flowers. I wonder why. I guess it was kinda awkward and a bit weird from me to give flowers to someone whom I only used to greet and never really talked to that much, but I still think I did the right thing.
And that's pretty much all I wanted to say.
February 3, 2025
Wu Wei 無爲/Python
After a few days of sending CVs and lamenting over the rejection rate, I have decided to step back a little bit and let things take their natural course, letting go of want. The ancient Chinese described it as Wu Wei. Anyhow, that's how I got my first interview after two weeks. We'll see how it goes.
I've been also learning Python again. Now that I have learned a thing or two about functions, lists, and dictionaries, I have started playing a bit more with Pygame. I already like it a lot, but it seems that I have to learn object oriented programming to make the process of learning Pygame a bit easier.
Who knows, maybe I'll make a separate Game dev log here on NeoCities in the future. And maybe I'll give it that authentic 90s a e s t h e t i c.
January 26, 2025
Kung Pao Chicken
Everything's back to normal. After a few days Jack got better and now he's unstoppable yet again. Now I can rest. So I've cooked some Kung Pao chicken and sent my CV to yet another company. Parents used to tell me how it'll be easy to find a job once I graduate from college, but oh boy, have they been wrong.
So while still unemployed, I started to learn Python once again. If I save a few coins this month, I'll buy Aseprite and learn to make pixel art. Once I get a job eventually, I'll spend my free time going out, socializing, going to gym, living the life, and pursuing my hobbies. One of them just so happens to be this blog. The other is playing guitar and making video games.
A few days ago I picked up my guitar and played Come Together by The Beatles. It felt really good.
January 21, 2025
Controlled by Fear
I still did not get a response from the job interview. And Jack, my little kitty, is not feeling well. In both of the cases, fear controls me. However, the two are not alike.
The thing is, the former case is something I should not worry about. Job opportunities come and go. When you stop worrying about them, you can only gain no matter if you win or lose. If you land the job, great. If you get rejected, more kudos to you. You can grow from failures and get the next job.
However, you do not want to lose your loved ones. All the memories you have spent with them. Gone. Just gone. Poof. Just like that. And there's nothing you can do about it. While we all die eventually, I think it is still too early for him. And I won't let that happen.
So, why was I worrying about the job in the first place?
January 15, 2025
First Base
I'm heading to the capitol city this Friday to attend some job interviews and then spend some time with an old friend from the uni. I'll be heading back on Saturday.
Now here's the deal. For the past few days I have spent too much time playing The Talos Principle. Amazing game, 10/10 would play again. And in some weird way I can resonate with the game. With the robots' obsession with what it was like to be a human. I think even nowadays more and more people forget about that, just mindlessly living from day to day on autopilot.
That's where the problem lies: currently there are some goals in my life and video games are simply not on the list. If I land the job, a new land of opportunities is open. New friends, new acquaintances, new opportunities, new places to explore. New ways to become human again. I suppose playing games was more bearable when I was living with my parents in a small village where one could do literally nothing. However, I would like to learn how to make games. That would be great.
So there's my two-cents on that.
P.S: I think blogs are popular because they offer a window into the everyday life of a person. And people are intrigued by that. Just like the robots from The Talos Principle. I wonder why blogs are not having a mainstream comeback.
January 11, 2025
Year of the Snake
The year is 2025. I have just finished my master's thesis and now I have to search for a job. Can't believe I am out of school now, with the title of the Master of Arts before my name.
Yesterday I celebrated the fact that I barely made it and won't have to spend another semester rewriting the thesis. I am grateful for both, because I had a good time. In fact, it might be due to the fact that the moment I switched from yearning towards the goal to trusting the process instead, I have been overall a more down to earth person. Simply put, year of the snake began successfully for me.
Oh yeah, and I got a Nokia in 2024.
January 1, 2025
New year, new me
I know this is probably the most cliché, least original title to start 2025 with, but that's alright. After all, the truth is that I'm a bad person, but that is going to change. I am going to change.
The finals are knocking at the door, so I've been studying for the last few days. After that, the job seeking ensues and then life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. So says John Lennon. Anyway, in 2024 I have already started working on some of my bad habits. I think it is still a bit early to be disillusioned about life (after all, I should be in my prime years), but frankly speaking, I think job is not the most important thing in the world, nor should your life revolve around it. As long as it pays the bills that's fine by me. It was not until I started hanging out with the boys that I realized I have a bad case of main character syndrome. Time to fix that, too.
The first thing that I am going to work towards are communication skills. I am also going to play less videogames and eventually quit for good. Then I want to get in shape. Finally, after 10 years of fiddling around guitar, I am going to start practicing seriously. These four things are my current goals for 2025. Is it a good idea? Will it work out? I don't know. Only time will tell.
December 16, 2024
A taste of future
Thesis is done and I'm awaiting Christmas and consequently finals in January. Been searching for a job, but with no results. I'm afraid I might have to do something I did not go to school for. But that's the current market.
I haven't posted for quite some time, so I might as well give a little update. I got a new suit from the money I saved. Other than that, I am planning to go all in on guitar, find some new friends, get out of the comfort zone. Do what I always wanted to do. That's what the 20s are for, right? 2025 will be the year...
Merry Christmas, everyone!
October 30, 2024
Choose life
The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you. The job, the family, the fucking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die.
I'm going to stop playing videogames, stop drinking, get in shape, get a girlfriend, take her on dates, rent a flat, get a life. Leave this old life behind. That's what I'm gonna do.